At the same time, I'm beginning to notice more and more interpersonal gambits folks use with me. That is, my bullshit detector has become more sensitive and capable. I am in a lot of meetings with folks where I work, and I seem to be able to detect red herrings and internal inconsistencies and logical fallacies much more than before, I believe. This might be due to me no longer becoming distracted by logical fallacies like argumentum ad hominem, changing the argument, straw man fallacies, red herrings, category errors, causal fallacies, especially any of the changes of subject or fallacies of distraction - and the rest of the dialectical tricks used to keep me from getting to the facts and matters at hand.
In a way, I guess my ability to pay attention for a longer, more consistent time is somewhat similar to typical ADHD 'hyper-focus' perseveration (an inappropriate maintaining of focus on something), except that I am aware of time limits, and the causality and flow of time during these efforts - and therefore I am able to appropriately move on when the time is right. The sense of time limits, causality and the flow of time is intrinsic to working memory, and I wonder if my working memory is really the main thing that I notice is improving. No longer do my experiences feel as disjointed, always 'in the now' and therefore disconnected. Now I sense a more distinct timeline - of past and present and future when I am going about my daily life.
Anyway - it is too late for me so I won't keep typing. I have to go to sleep. Our little boy will wake up at 5:00 like he does every morning, and I need my beauty sleep.
I'm outta here.
Mungo
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I want that to happen on my meds. That sounds really wonderful. Reading your posts is making me pay attention more to what is going on each day with me. Thanks for that :)
ReplyDeleteKeep blogging, I really like reading it.
Just started Concerta two weeks ago. I'm 42, male. Oh yeah, the upping of my BS detector, this is one of the first things I noticed. I am smart and consider myself intuitive ( don't we all?) I can read ridiculously fast and voraciously, studied philosophy, psychology (own time for that/ english major when attending University. ha ha I dropped out of 4 Universities. All top end though ha ha) however, I am astonished at what I am now way more aware of as you state, the 'interpersonal gambits' that people have been using. (Not maliciously I think, more research needed) I'm not sure if it is because I've spent YEARS watching people, studying thier non-verbal tics and gestures to discern the true meaning of the words coming out of their mouth. Who knew you could tell, by actually listening to their words!! Before meds, man, once a conversation was started, it was, "batton down the hatches!!" and I'd have to do analysis later, alone, running and playing the scene over and over to ee how the evening had gone. Lotta work!! ( godd for writing in a twisted way, though. Now, on Concerta, I can do this during the conversation. If someone is fucking with me, I can see it, pause, think, smile, and choose the correct response without falling into, frankly, a very basic trap and set-up that anyone with half a brain (or no ADD) would avoid. Thank God (and bless my pagan boots) for Concerta. Glad the Strat is doing similar things for you (although I have recently read that you are switching meds)
ReplyDeleteVery good posts. You can write.