My desk remains cluttered at work, but differently cluttered than yesterday as I pulled out all sorts of stacks of paper from storage cabinets to go through them thusly:
- recycle bin (60% of sheets)
- garbage bin (20 % of sheets)
- filed away to be recycled or disposed of later when I'm feeling braver (10%)
- filed away to be referred to later (9%)
- folded and placed in my pocket for later perusal (1%)
I found myself shaking my head over and over again when I saw the responses people made to me and others. One way I coped with a particularly irritatingly blunt object that I met with for a while was to draw a small mark on my notepad everytime I noticed them being utterly unimaginative, intellectually dull and incurious. That is, denser than lead. At the end of my meeting, my page had 12 thin marks blended in with my notes. I think that is a healthy way to cope with stupidity, rather than zoning out and wishing I were among people who weren't big believers in folk psychology, and who weren't incredibly internally inconsistent in their attitudes, beliefs, opinions and responses to questions. Or zoning out and thinking about camping instead, while nodding enthusiastically at their expressions.
But I got through that. John Le Carre once wrote about a protagonist who used a mental trick to insulate him from an interrogator's intimidating questions - he simply imagined the interrogator wearing diapers and with a soother in his mouth. This gave the protagonist some mental distance to allow him to avoid becoming overwhelmed or confused during the interrogation. For me, I instead noted - or 'flagged' - instances of the person being stupid (I have high expectations for folks I work with - we do some very high level stuff sometimes) and recorded these occasions dispassionately.
I also noticed that driving to work this morning, while I was tempted to honk at road-idiots, I declined calmly and got back to my task at hand - guiding the vehicle in the general direction of work. This is interesting - as though I am getting control over some of my impulsive behaviours.
Anyway, it is almost midnight and the little boy wakes up at 5ish. So I must sleep and/or pull an all night write-a-thon. I'd prefer the former option.
Sleep well, my readers.
Cheers,
Mungo
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I thought that unlike stimulants, Straterra did not take affect until after a few weeks. Do you have any comment on that from research or what your prescriber has told you?
ReplyDeleteSteven in Baltimore
Yes, that's my understanding that it doesn't really work for a few weeks. I am noticing something, and I'd likely attribute it to either a) a cognitive bias i.e. I'm looking for something and seeing it and disregarding other evidence
ReplyDeleteb) there is a small effect at first which will vanish before the normally therapeutic effect takes place once the neurotransmitter and loop equilibrium effects establish themselves
c) placebo effect which could genuinely be improving my focus and attention in the short term
d) my ADHD was so bad, that it took only a little of the Strattera in my blood to give it a kick - e.g. your car is out of gas, and all you need is a cup of gas to get to the gas station down the street.
e) aliens manipulated my brain while I slept.
I think e) is most unlikely.
I'm thinking it is probably mostly expectation bias (noticing the good stuff, not the bad), and maybe the sense of agency I have now that I've made steps to get on the meds... that alone could improve my anxiety which in turn could improve my attention etc...
It's a tough one, but I should tell all readers what you are bringing up:
Don't expect significant improvements for at least 4 to 6 weeks, and know that not all meds work for all patients. Sometimes you have to try out a few including at various doses to find something that works for you.
Thanks for commenting Steven!
Mungo
I think that you might be on to something with the sense of agency you get from just starting treatment improving your concentration. I think that improvement might be from the decrease in the scatterbrainity that comes with anxiety. I know that is part of what's been helping me and that was without changing my medication. You might be on to something there.
ReplyDeleteI know the pain of idiot co-workers. Nothing gets me more annoyed than stupidity, ignorance, or incompetence. Mom told me to just accept it because "you can't fix stupid." Basically, because I cannot alter their behaviour or thought-patterns all I can do is go with the flow. Good luck, glad things are going so well otherwise.
Yes, that's my understanding that it doesn't really work for a few weeks. I am noticing something, and I'd likely attribute it to either a) a cognitive bias i.e. I'm looking for something and seeing it and disregarding other evidence
ReplyDeleteb) there is a small effect at first which will vanish before the normally therapeutic effect takes place once the neurotransmitter and loop equilibrium effects establish themselves
c) placebo effect which could genuinely be improving my focus and attention in the short term
d) my ADHD was so bad, that it took only a little of the Strattera in my blood to give it a kick - e.g. your car is out of gas, and all you need is a cup of gas to get to the gas station down the street.
e) aliens manipulated my brain while I slept.
I think e) is most unlikely.
I'm thinking it is probably mostly expectation bias (noticing the good stuff, not the bad), and maybe the sense of agency I have now that I've made steps to get on the meds... that alone could improve my anxiety which in turn could improve my attention etc...
It's a tough one, but I should tell all readers what you are bringing up:
Don't expect significant improvements for at least 4 to 6 weeks, and know that not all meds work for all patients. Sometimes you have to try out a few including at various doses to find something that works for you.
Thanks for commenting Steven!
Mungo