Symptom Relief is Beginning to Take Hold

A few things to report regarding my experience with Strattera. When someone asks me 'how is the Strattera working for you?', I'm a bit at a loss of how to respond. Any improvements that I perceive seem to be very subtle. That is, I don't really feel any sense of dramatic relief of symptoms of ADHD. By my reckoning and analysis, a complex mix of impulsivity and inconsistent attention seems to comprise my own manifestation of ADHD. But I am noticing myself doing a few things differently, and thinking somewhat differently - and the more I think about it, I guess things are beginning to happen:

• I am more productive than I have been in a very long time. I am finding myself 'wanting' to do things, and as such my To Do list is getting shorter and shorter. When I find myself having a spare moment, I will wonder what I can do that would 'get things done'. I still have a LONG way to go, but this is progress for me. It might be a combination of the effects of Strattera, along with knowing about my diagnosis, and subsequently being more aware of my tendencies... but no matter. I am noticing changes.
  
• I am noticing when I am Productive WithOut Priority (PWOP) more quickly when I am engaged in some time-wasting or low-priority task when I am supposed to be engaged in a higher priority task. I put the emphasis on the word 'when' because I want to clarify that it is okay to engage in low-priority tasks, but not when higher-priority tasks need to be done at that point in time. For me anyway, because of my strong tendencies to get lost in low priority minutea - call it inappropriate perseveration, call it what you will.
  
• I seem to be becoming aware 'left of boom' of impulsive feelings. That is, I become aware of something I am about to say or do in a social situation, and note quickly to myself that it is an impulsive, and probably inappropriate thing to do or say - and stop myself before doing it. I can only imagine how many times I've not been aware of my ADHD behaviours being impulsive throughout my adult life (not to mention my childhood). To become aware of the impulse before acting upon it is an amazing feeling. Try it. You'll love it. I notice it when I'm driving and want to honk at another car for not signaling or for cutting me off or for driving too slowly for my taste. I notice it when I am somewhere and I want to stare at someone because they're doing something that I feel is 'wrong'. I notice it when I want to add to a conversation or in a meeting that doesn't fit with the program.
  
• I am drifting or zoning-out less and less in meetings and during social interactions.
  
• Finally, I can't stand to take the Ativan I had originally been prescribed for anxiety, as it makes me now feel spacey and out to lunch. I want to be 'sober' and aware of my surroundings, and this stuff - even if I take 1mg a day - prevents me from being anchored in my reality. I have Clonazapam, which is a much more subtle, and gentle anxiolitic. I'm going days when I don't even take a single 0.5 mg tablet of that. I understand that Strattera can help manage anxiety. I don't know how it does that. Perhaps by regulating the norepinephrine pathways better or even by relieving the symptoms that in themselves are anxiety producing, such as forgetting things, spacing out, or dealing with the shame and embarrassment of the consequences and feelings of impulsivity and more. I feel calmer and more focused than I have a long while. Less prone to panic and anxiety attacks.

Cheers,

Mungo

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