People Sure Are Forgetful & Meaning Flowing Retroactively & a PWIP Tattoo

I was just perusing the TotallyADD.com forums (I get notifications of new posting via my Google Reader, so I'm just seeing the latest... I'm not just sitting around wasting time, honestly!), and came across this thread about being diagnosed in one's adult life with ADHD.

I chimed in with the following:

"I've just turned 40, and was just diagnosed myself. After a few weeks on Strattera, I actually caught myself thinking yesterday "Boy, that person sure is forgetful...". Oh the delicious irony of it all.

Irvin Yalom wrote in "Love's Executioner" about the idea of 'meaning flowing retroactively', in explaining why he enjoys working with adults and the elderly and helping them reach a new meaning in their lives - in part because he believes that it is never too late to reach a new understanding of one's life. In reaching a new understanding, the new meaning can act as a new lens or 'organizing process' to someone's past, flowing back in time and re-organizing or re-interpreting the past in a more fair and dispassionate way.

This is certainly the case for me. I consider that my diagnosis has provided me with a clarifying narrative, one that helps explain all those problems and struggles and shame filled moments and difficulties throughout my life. It in some ways acts as a salve on the pain.

I was always a late bloomer, but better now than never!

Mungo"

Today I took my Strattera in the morning, after the toddler's breakfast. I am feeling a bit dizzy, like I have spun around a few too many times on my chair, but I am not feeling messed up. That is, I feel the somatic symptoms of dizziness, but not cognitive effects of wooziness. This is a big deal, I think my body is beginning to adjust to this dosage. Excellent.

Yesterday I felt jubilant with my newly trademarked acronyms PWOP and PWIP. I have the week off on vacation (except for Friday) and was doing some house chores. One of them involved lifting a 200 lb + treadmill up the basement stairs. I had to remove the banister to do this. I couldn't drag it, so I had to use my shoulder muscles and arms to literally hoist the beast up the stairs. It was hard work. Not so much because of the weight (I am as strong as an ox) but because the awkward angles I had to negotiate, and the acrobatic positions I had to place myself in to fight gravity to wrestle the accursed mass up the stairs.

I had a few other things to complete on my 'to-do list'. From time to time during the afternoon, I would also start tidying other things, and one thing would seem to lead to another. But very quickly, my brain reminded me of the critical difference between being Productive WithOut Priority (PWOP), which this 'other things' stuff clearly was becoming, and being Productive WIth Priority (PWIP) - so I'd get back on track quickly. Perhaps I should tattoo 'PWIP' on my arm. Or even on my knuckles. That would be cool. Or on my neck. That would look wicked.

Today we're off to see a movie and have a yogurt drink or icy drink somewhere, to combat this oppressive humidity and heat. I prefer it when it rains or when it is cool.

Cheers,

Mungo

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Upped my Strattera Dosage, and the Difference Between PWOP and PWIP

Well, I had thought I would be writing a post every single day of my Strattera medication regime - and that was good at the beginning, when things changed quickly, but maybe I need to review my requirements: I need a blog post for every significant milestone or happening during my Strattera dosage regime.

So - I went to my family physician on the 18th day, and this time he appeared as though he had read my file, and immediately asked me how I was doing, what sort of side-effects I was experiencing etc... He suggested a couple of things to do (re: dry mouth and re: the Con, Stip, and Ation - drink water, eat fiber, respectively). Then he upped my dose to 20 mg. I told him I get a little dozy too and he said I should consider taking it at night.

Anyway, 10 minutes later, I was out the door with an updated prescription. Basically, I'll take two 10mg capsules of Strattera daily for 4 weeks, and return for the next titration step ('uppification' of the dose).

When I filled the prescription, the pharmacist and I chatted a little. I came to the conclusion, with all the information I'd obtained from my doctor, the pharmacist, and all the reading I have done that I'm going to take it in the morning instead. That way, I'll be a) very regular in my timing, because my morning schedule is very regimented, as opposed to my evening routine, and b) I can take my SSRI and Strattera all at once, and it will be easier to remember to take it. I use a pill container marked daily for 7 days. It is very useful. I normally forget when I take pills, and that's a BAD thing. A memory aid like a labeled container helps, and costs about $3.00.

The first 2 days that I did this, I was seriously dizzy and woozy for a few hours. I had to nap. I kept having to shake my head to stay awake and get my bearings. Years ago I gave my dog a saucer full of beer, because he kept whining and demanding some (yes, that's logical). Within a minute, he'd sat down, and starting shaking his head back and forth. I now know how he felt. Note: my beagle does not have a drinking problem.

But that's since vanished. Today I felt fine. My body has adjusted. No significant changes in positive effects, other than a sense of productivity and increased sense of chronology - a more expansive sense of timing about my day, and hence a sense of improved memory and planning capabilities.

I am still prone to doing-the-next-thing-regardless-of-priority-itis, for example yesterday I went up onto the roof to caulk the brick in the chimney. Then I noticed the gutters were full of leaves, so I emptied them. Then I cleaned out the garage. Then I used my new blower (it is my birthday today!) and blew out the garage, and the yard, and the driveway. And then I broke down some large cardboard boxes and put them in the recycling bin. Then I organized my tools in the garage. Then I sat and looked at the lawn. Then I sprayed weed killer on my driveway. Then I cleaned up the garage a bit. Then I cleaned out my car. Then I went back inside, having accomplished my initial task which was caulking the roof. But at least it was the weekend, and I didn't have hugely pressing items to do. And at least I was actually productive. But the problem, as you might imagine, is that I was being Productive WithOut Priority (PWOP - I shall register this as a trademark). PWOP is funny, and alluring. PWOP tricks you into thinking you're doing something normal and good. I mean, if I were slashing tires, robbing banks and pickpocketing tourists, that would be bad, but what is wrong with cleaning out the gutters and preparing the recycling? Well, the only thing is the timing. There are higher priority items I could have been doing with my time.

Gotta remember that. PWOP is an easy trap to fall into when you are afflicted with nasty ADHD. I need to remember to be PWIP (Productive WIth Priority), and not PWOP.

On that note, have a wonderfully PWIPpy evening- I shall try to do the same.

Cheers,

Mungo

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I Will Catch Up With Strattera Updates - Nature in the Meantime

I will catch up with my Strattera progress updates, suffice to say, I have had my dose upped, and it makes me feel quite woozy... but it is going well.

In the meantime, please see some more of my nature adventures!

Last week I made a quick drive at lunch time to Whitchurch Conservation Park to take a few photos.


I was trying to find out what kind of bird this one was, and I came across this amazing resource online, a listing of all Ontario birds, along with small thumbnails of each one. This is an Indigo Bunting (Passerina cyanea). It often migrates by night, using the stars to navigate. Read more about Indigo Buntings on Wikipedia.


Butterfly with an eye on its wing.


Honey bee feasting on nectar from the flower pod on top of a second year growth of the biennial Mullein plant. Biennial plants will form the rosette flower the first year, and the stem emerges on the second year. With Mullein, you can eat the root in the first year, but it loses starches and gets quite fibrous in the second year.


Lily pads in the pond scattered across the surface.


It appears that the tadpoles from my last visit have turned into little green frogs. This fellow and all of his friends were no more than an inch long. Bait sized...


The pond is quite shallow and the bottom is densely covered in weeds - perfect hiding places for small fishies and beasties. As I watched the banks, I was half-hoping to see a bear or some deer arrive for a drink or a swim about. Then I thought about what might happen if I saw a black bear. I figured I'd switch my camera onto the movie mode, and take some nice images of the bear, and then quickly recite my last will and testament. I know - that's dramatic. I know - just stand up, appear as a biped, shout, don't stare in its eyes, look 'in charge' and if push comes to shove, use my knife and fight for my life. Karate, or plain knuckle punching, eye-gouging, stab fighting. I have watched a few videos on Philipino knife fighting techniques. I hope they work on bears who try to eat me.


One of many fish filling the pond - this one was bigger than most, but still only about 2 inches long. I'm hoping someone can help me identify this little fellow.


Grassy verge overlooking the pond, just outside of the woods. No-one was there. I fell asleep for an hour under my blanket.


Dragonfly eating from the tiny white flowers of a Narrow Leaf Plantain.


The same Indigo Bunting (Passerina cyanea) kept hopping from branch to branch, apparently trying to impress a female Indigo Bunting with brown plumage. He sure had it going on.


Mayweed, or Stinking Chamomile (Anthemis cotula) flowers covered the clearing by the pond.


Clouds in the sky


Bright yellow flowers, identification pending, in amongst white Mayweed, or Stinking Chamomile (Anthemis cotula) flowers.


Dragonfly sitting on the stalk of a Narrow Leaf Plantain


White flowered Yarrow.


Horse Tail.


Wild Mint.


Some kind of moth having some nectar from a Mayweed, or Stinking Chamomile (Anthemis cotula) flower.


Some kind of moth climbing about on a plant.

Cheers,

Mungo

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Daily Twitter Posting Roundup from @MungosADHD

Here is a roundup of my most recent Twitter posts from @MungosADHD.com:

• Study shows no growth stunting in ADHD medicated children. | ADDventures Of Motherhood ow.ly/21htI
  
• A Depressing Spiral Back to Normal « Addled ow.ly/21hvg
  
• ADD'ing it all up: Well, is it real or isn't it? ow.ly/21hws
  
• #ADHD New Blog Post: Day 18 on Strattera - To The Doctor's for a Followup and Titration Up of Strattera - Side Effec... ow.ly/17Pjx4
  
• RT @EdgeFdn: Hat tip to @petequily who pointed me in the direction for research on ADHD & gambling bit.ly/aoAePG
  
• Challenges of Having Adult Attention Deficit Disorder ow.ly/21uyw
  
• ADHD Roller Coaster: "Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?" · Where to Purchase "You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? ow.ly/21v2p
  
• My Inattentive Life: Ritalin--One Week, and I feel AWESOME. ow.ly/21YZw
  
• ADD'ing it all up: bonus - ow.ly/22uIT
  
• ADD'ing it all up: for my wife - ow.ly/22uJ8
  
• William Glasser and Positive Addiction Theory | ADHD In Focus ow.ly/22uJY
  
• ADD'ing it all up: rendered - ow.ly/22uKm

Cheers,

Mungo

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To The Doctor's for a Followup and Titration Up of Strattera - Side Effect and Positive Effect Review

This afternoon I have my next appointment with my family physician, a follow up to my initial prescription of Strattera at the starting dose of 10mg daily.

I hope it goes well. And by well, I hope he increases my dose and carefully listens to my feedback and observations. I will keep them short, as follows:

My side-effects with Strattera have been tolerable. Dry mouth, which I have remedied with sipping on water. Brilliant, eh? And constipation, which I remedied with Metamucil (non-soluble fiber), and finally with Lactalose, a synthetically combined galactose-sucrose sugar in a syrupy form which acts as a laxative. I used that once and it worked well. I'm now back and regular and my insides are operating smoothly. You may now all cheer in unison.

Go ahead.

Please, cheer - I'll wait for a minute.

Okay, thanks - that was great!

My positive effects in the short time I've been taking it - as far as I can deduce - have been subtle and mild: working memory improvements (staying on task, returning to task, less forgetting and misplacing), I am calmer around people - but this might be the clonazepam or maybe less anxiety because I am not forgetting stuff and misplacing stuff and able to get things done and am not anticipating bad outcomes from it all). Also, I think I have been more productive (appropriately so) and less perseverative and hyperfocused on inappropriate tasks - i.e. better sense of priorities.

He'll either understand or he won't. Hope he does.

Cheers,

Mungo

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Daily Twitter Posting Roundup from @MungosADHD

Here is a roundup of my most recent, albeit brief set of Twitter posts from @MungosADHD.com:

• ADD'ing it all up: Forget the eraser, try the edit key. ow.ly/20nbZ
  
• When Your Mind Wanders, Your Eyes Blink ow.ly/20Wo1
  
• This Is Your Brain On Zen - Experienced Meditators Recover More Quickly ow.ly/20Woc

Cheers,

Mungo

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Doctor's Apppointment, but First: BBQ Pool Party

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment - a follow up to when he gave me the prescription for Strattera. Today was a nice day, relaxing and tiring at the same time. My wife and little boy and I went to a friend's house where we swam in their pool and had a BBQ for lunch. Little James floated about in an inflatable pool toy with a nonplussed expression on his face. He didn't seem too impressed. He preferred playing on the grass, picking up leaves and sticks.

I am aware that I can be impulsive in conversations, but I think I was appropriately witty and appropriately rude at the appropriate times. They did seem to laugh at my dry witticisms, and didn't look nervous at all.

Cheers,

Mungo

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