Sharing My Diagnosis with my Boss

I knew it had to come - the time when I'd be sharing my diagnosis with people outside of my immediate circle of family and friends.

On the weekend I mentioned it briefly to a friend of my brother at his wedding, it just seemed reasonable to mention it given the flow of the conversation, plus I was interested to know how someone I did not know would react. I also wanted to see how I would react afterward. The person looked at me a bit knowingly, then seemed at a loss for words, but luckily a distraction arose - a speech at the wedding. They seemed to make an effort to say something nice afterward so I take it I was not deemed completely insane. Plus they may have had some experience or knew about a friend with it - but I don't know.

And then today at my job, I had the first of several meetings that comprise my annual performance evaluation with my boss. In the discussion, I brought up my recent diagnosis during a specific conversation about some goals I had been trying to achieve last year (to which this performance evaluation would be directed). My boss nodded and said they knew all too well - they'd in fact been diagnosed themselves.

I had prepared well for the meeting, and described what efforts I will be making to further advance certain areas of my professional development. In thinking this out, and putting it to paper, I think I have a good road map (in development) of how I will improve my ability to deliver effectively at work in a consistent and timely way over the next few months.

I felt pretty calm about it during the rest of the meeting, and now I think this will help me in my job performance in the future. But now - an hour later - I am a large canvas sack full of varying emotions and flowing thoughts. I guess I feel mostly okay and optimistic about it, but wow. Whoa. This was a defining point in my post ADHD diagnosis life.

Damn, this stuff is HARD. But I'm getting through it, opportunity by opportunity, road block by road block, challenge by challenge and success by success.

I would be interested to hear in your comments what experiences you have had (or imagine that you will have) in telling or in not telling your boss or colleagues about your ADHD.

Cheers,

Mungo

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Tracking Progress on Strattera - Literature from Strattera.com

I received a pamphlet about Strattera when I got my diagnosis - it is literature provided from Strattera.com. It is a quick introduction to the medication, and is a worksheet so that one can track one's progress and symptom improvements / side-effects. Well, they focus more on symptom improvement.

"After you get to your target dose of Strattera, it's time to watch for gradual progress.

Here's what you can expect:

• Some people notice small changes in as few as 2 weeks
  
• By 4 to 6 weeks, you should see marked improvement in your ADHD symptoms. However, individual results may vary
  

Here are some of the attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) symptom improvements you might notice:

• Becoming more focused and paying attention
  
• Being less distracted when trying to concentrate
  
• Listening more easily to what others are saying
  
• Being better able to organize tasks and activities
  
• Starting tasks or projects and completing them
  
• Being less forgetful in daily activities
  

Ask for help

It's a good idea to ask 1 or 2 other people to help you notice improvements in your ADHD symptoms. They may notice changes that you are not even aware of."

The two big challenges I have now are being better able to organize tasks and activities, and starting tasks or projects and completing them.

Damned ADHD.

Cheers,

Mungo

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Daily Twitter Posting Roundup from @MungosADHD

Here is a roundup of my most recent Twitter posts from Twitter.com/MungosADHD:

• ADD'ing it all up: The goat ate my post ow.ly/27v3u
  
• FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful ow.ly/26G4T
  
• ADD'ing it all up: That which does not kill me.... ow.ly/26nG3
  
• Adult ADHD and Our Powers of Self-Observation | ADDaboy! - HealthyPlace target="_blank"ow.ly/26nGL
  
• ADD'ing it all up: backwards glance, and thoughts. ( there I am ) ow.ly/26nH9
  
• Sharing your ADHD diagnosis with family and friends - ADDer World Anything and Everything ADHD ow.ly/26nHE
  
• ADD'ing it all up: a day in the life of a blog. ow.ly/26nIX
  
• ADD'ing it all up: That which does not kill me.... ow.ly/26nRC
  
• Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D. ow.ly/26yBD
  
• 33 Ways to Get Organized with #ADD #ADHD: www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/729.html
  

Cheers,

Mungo

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Fever and 40 Years with Me and my ADHD

Today was a write-off. I woke up, fed the little fella breakfast and played with toys until he went to daycare. Then I felt hot and began to perspire. I wrote an e-mail to tell work colleagues that I would be off sick. I lay down thinking I'd be up in an hour at most. I slept until 3:20 PM.

It is 8:00 PM and I'm still hot. I'm going to take an ibuprofen and drink lots of water. Unless my limbs catch fire, I will make it into work tomorrow. I have lots to do and recently I haven't been able to find enough hours in the day to do it all.

My Strattera is no longer causing me traffic jams in the nether regions, if you know what I mean. I've noticed my appetite is diminished, which doesn't worry me at all. I'm remembering things better and better these days, but clutter continues to follow me. My desk at work is clutter free, but at home, piles of stuff taunt me still. But I'm not too worried about it at the moment, because I have a strange subtle feeling that this too will pass - I get the sense I am going to start tidying a lot more. Strange but true.

I remain awfully fidgety. I shake my legs - shaking as I'm typing this. But my inner thoughts are calmer. I can complete articles and read books from beginning to end. Normally I lived with more than five and fewer than ten books going at once. Now it is down to 2 at most.

For meetings and social engagements I'm on time, in fact, I'm ahead of time 9 times out of 10. Planning is improving. My executive functions appear to be improving. Go, frontal lobes, go! While I still lose objects, this is happening less and less. I'm remembering where I placed things, which is pretty cool.

Inconsistency is a hallmark of ADHD, I think. Inconsistent attention: I can attend to things really well, and become an expert in a realm. But I can't always stay with a conversation. I can have a tidy office at work, and a messy room at home. I can be super optimistic and be encouraging with friends and family. But I can feel hopeless and discouraged about my own circumstances in private.

But knowing this, and learning where to spot the inconsistencies is part of the repair work that can be done. I'm 40 now, and have spent decades learning how to live with me and my ADHD. It will take time to learn new ways, but I think I'm well on my way.

Yours thoughtfully,

Mungo

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Symptom Relief is Beginning to Take Hold

A few things to report regarding my experience with Strattera. When someone asks me 'how is the Strattera working for you?', I'm a bit at a loss of how to respond. Any improvements that I perceive seem to be very subtle. That is, I don't really feel any sense of dramatic relief of symptoms of ADHD. By my reckoning and analysis, a complex mix of impulsivity and inconsistent attention seems to comprise my own manifestation of ADHD. But I am noticing myself doing a few things differently, and thinking somewhat differently - and the more I think about it, I guess things are beginning to happen:

• I am more productive than I have been in a very long time. I am finding myself 'wanting' to do things, and as such my To Do list is getting shorter and shorter. When I find myself having a spare moment, I will wonder what I can do that would 'get things done'. I still have a LONG way to go, but this is progress for me. It might be a combination of the effects of Strattera, along with knowing about my diagnosis, and subsequently being more aware of my tendencies... but no matter. I am noticing changes.
  
• I am noticing when I am Productive WithOut Priority (PWOP) more quickly when I am engaged in some time-wasting or low-priority task when I am supposed to be engaged in a higher priority task. I put the emphasis on the word 'when' because I want to clarify that it is okay to engage in low-priority tasks, but not when higher-priority tasks need to be done at that point in time. For me anyway, because of my strong tendencies to get lost in low priority minutea - call it inappropriate perseveration, call it what you will.
  
• I seem to be becoming aware 'left of boom' of impulsive feelings. That is, I become aware of something I am about to say or do in a social situation, and note quickly to myself that it is an impulsive, and probably inappropriate thing to do or say - and stop myself before doing it. I can only imagine how many times I've not been aware of my ADHD behaviours being impulsive throughout my adult life (not to mention my childhood). To become aware of the impulse before acting upon it is an amazing feeling. Try it. You'll love it. I notice it when I'm driving and want to honk at another car for not signaling or for cutting me off or for driving too slowly for my taste. I notice it when I am somewhere and I want to stare at someone because they're doing something that I feel is 'wrong'. I notice it when I want to add to a conversation or in a meeting that doesn't fit with the program.
  
• I am drifting or zoning-out less and less in meetings and during social interactions.
  
• Finally, I can't stand to take the Ativan I had originally been prescribed for anxiety, as it makes me now feel spacey and out to lunch. I want to be 'sober' and aware of my surroundings, and this stuff - even if I take 1mg a day - prevents me from being anchored in my reality. I have Clonazapam, which is a much more subtle, and gentle anxiolitic. I'm going days when I don't even take a single 0.5 mg tablet of that. I understand that Strattera can help manage anxiety. I don't know how it does that. Perhaps by regulating the norepinephrine pathways better or even by relieving the symptoms that in themselves are anxiety producing, such as forgetting things, spacing out, or dealing with the shame and embarrassment of the consequences and feelings of impulsivity and more. I feel calmer and more focused than I have a long while. Less prone to panic and anxiety attacks.

Cheers,

Mungo

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Relaxing - Taking the Dog for an Early Evening Walk

I took Monty the dog out for an early evening walk earlier this week - he had a great old time. We wandered slowly about the park, watching swallows swoop and swirl in the bright descending sunlight.


The low sun gave some interesting lighting effects on the most mundane of subjects, like these grass blades.


The sun was sinking in the sky, but was still almost too bright to look towards it.


Monty enjoyed himself very much - the weather was cooling down, and he ambled about in the grass, sniffing everything he could.


I was able to catch a swallow in flight by following it with my lens. Not very clear, but I think it gave a neat effect...


A pair of swallows taking a break from flying close to the ground, feeding on insects.


A swallow taking a break from flying close to the ground, feeding on insects.


A park bench sitting idly at the side of the field.

Hope you had a nice day too,

Mungo

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Twitter Posting Roundup from @MungosADHD

Here is a roundup of my most recent Twitter posts from @MungosADHD.com:

• Comorbidity is a Big Word: Hang in There | ADDaboy! - HealthyPlace ow.ly/23Emp
  
• #ADHD New Blog Post: I Will Catch Up With Strattera Updates - Nature in the Meantime ow.ly/17THOL
  
• 7 Common Flashpoints for Spouses of ADDers ow.ly/23Ig4
  
• ADD'ing it all up: selective integration. ow.ly/23eV3
  
• ADHD Roller Coaster: "Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?&quo t; · "Everything You Want Releases Dopamine…" ow.ly/23eX9
  
• TotallyADD.com: What to say when someone dismisses your ADHD ow.ly/23us9
  
• What meds do and don't do... - ADDer World Anything and Everything ADHD ow.ly/230FQ
  
• It's my 40th birthday! Yayyy!!!
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com Life is difficult for the organizationally impaired!
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com Tip: Schedule phone call return times in daily work calendar.
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com Use PERT analysis (Google it) to help get a sense of how long a scary project / task will take.
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com PERT method: make Optimistic estimate, Pessimistic & Likely. Then do (O + (4*L) + P)/6 = reliable estimate.
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com Memory problems aren't unique to ADHDers but are compounded by the associated deficits.
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com Carry a notepad & pen to help you to remember & prioritize tasks. Keep a seperate section just for notes.
  
• Flooded With Thoughts | Jeff's A.D.D. Mind - ow.ly/23SqE
  
• #ADHD New Blog Post: Day 19 to Day 25 - Upped my Strattera Dosage, and the Difference Between PWOP and PWIP ow.ly/17UosY
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com Aim for PWIP (Productivity WIth Priority) rather the trap of #ADHD PWOP (Productivity WithOut Priority)!
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com I wish I had known about this 30 years ago, that I have ADHD. Ah well, new meaning can flow retroactively.
  
• #ADHD MungosADHD.com Hypothesis: Camping eases ADHD symptoms. Mine, anyway: MungoSaysBah.com is my camping blog...
  
• Borderline Personality Disorder: Mental Illness on Rise? - TIME ow.ly/24ul1
  
• Redefining Crazy: Researchers Revise the 'DSM' - TIME ow.ly/24urK
  
• #ADHD New Blog Post: Day 27 on Strattera - People Sure Are Forgetful & Meaning Flowing Retroactively & a PWIP Tattoo ow.ly/17VFXL
  
• ADHD Roller Coaster: "Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?" · School Daze, School Daze, Report Cards and All ow.ly/250Nn

Cheers,

Mungo

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